One day in a public library, I had a casual conversation with a man. Let’s call him Michael. We chatted about work and travel until he asked the dreaded $64,000 question: “Do you have a boyfriend?”
I say “dreaded” because I’ve noticed as I’ve gotten older it’s the most important question to ask any woman who doesn’t have a ring on it. No matter the situation, even if she’s on fire and begging for help.
I told Michael I didn’t have a boyfriend. I’d rather stay focused on my self-discovery journey and developing a full-time career.
Boy, did the atmosphere go downhill.
Michael bombarded me with questions and statements like:
“Who hurt you?”
“You know two is better than one!”
“Maybe it’s best you should slow down.”
For what? For you!?
I was screaming in my head while Michael attempted to convince me being in a relationship was the best thing ever to happen to me.
Our ten-minute conversation felt like ten years.
“Dear Michael, is it intimidating I rather focus on my personal goals than you?” -Me
I’m 29. Michael was twice my age and has a son in college. I should’ve known it was going to get weird soon.
Suddenly, Michael started preaching to me why sex was incredibly important (why). He was rather loud about it. Made me uncomfortable.
Is it true though? About sex. Better than exploring the world? Spiritual enlightenment? Personally, I find more euphoria finding diamonds in Minecraft.
I notice society’s scrutiny on single women the closer I reach the big 3–0. Will we spontaneously combust if we don’t have a significant other yet?
Whatever happened to the social bonds with friends, parents, and siblings? Are those relationships important for single women as well? Apparently not. It’s all about the magical man I’m supposed to have by now.
When my bae comes, he’ll come. I’m down with that!
Now, I love being single. It’s great for productivity and creativity. Plus, I get to clearly decide who I want to date. I don’t have to throw myself to the next dude who questions my relationship status or my number.
Back to Michael
Michael didn’t respect my decision or else the boyfriend topic would’ve ended eons ago.
“Oh, you don’t? That’s fine. Now tell me more about your travels in Europe!” -What I wish Michael had said
Heavens forbid you’re a focused single woman.